When Resistance Becomes Heavier Than Surrender
There comes a moment in every transformation where resistance starts to feel heavier than surrender.
I see it in my students in every yoga class I teach, and I feel it within my own body every time change begins to move through my life.
At first, it can be subtle—an inner tension, quiet questioning, a feeling that something inside you is shifting faster than you can understand.
And in that space, you are given a choice: fight the shift, or flow with it.
A Buddhist teacher I studied under once said, “It’s impossible to get out of the chair when your hands are gripping the sides of the seat, but very easy when you release the hold.”
This teaching beautifully reflects the path of acceptance:
• Attachment and clinging
• Suffering
• Liberation
Acceptance is not pretending that everything feels good.
It is acknowledging what is, without adding layers of fear, judgment, or control.
When you do that, something powerful happens—you stop working against yourself.
And that is where grounding begins.
The Nature of the Shift
Transformation—also called awakening or ascension—is not some distant mystical event. It is a deeply human process.
It shows up in your daily life, your emotions, your relationships, your body, and your thoughts.
The difficult part is letting go of what is familiar and moving toward what is still unknown.
As my grandmother used to say, “Better the evil you know, than the evil you don’t know.”
The truth is, discomfort is part of the process.
You may begin to notice:
• Old patterns no longer fit
• Relationships are shifting or dissolving
• Emotional waves rise without a clear reason
• A deep pull toward something more meaningful
These are signs that something within you is recalibrating.
Awakening is not about escaping reality—it is about expanding your awareness of it.
Your system is releasing what no longer aligns so a more authentic version of you can emerge.
Why Resistance Creates More Pain
Resistance usually comes from the desire to stay in control.
The mind wants clarity, timelines, and guarantees. But transformation rarely follows a predictable script.
Resistance only makes the process harder.
You may notice resistance when:
• You replay the same thoughts trying to figure everything out
• You cling to identities that are already dissolving
• You treat discomfort like a problem that must be fixed immediately
This creates inner conflict—the feeling of being pulled in two directions at once.
Acceptance does not remove the discomfort, but it removes the fight.
And without the fight, your energy becomes available for something else: integration.
Acceptance as a Gateway to Healing
Healing is not something you force. It is something you allow.
When you accept where you are, your nervous system begins to settle.
Your awareness expands beyond fear, and space opens up for you to process your emotions instead of suppressing them.
This transformation can feel messy and painful at first, because it involves clearing emotional, mental, and energetic blockages that interrupt your natural flow.
But as you move through it, something beautiful begins to happen.
You experience more clarity, more connection, and greater alignment with your true self.
Acceptance is what opens that door.
The Paradox of Discomfort
Growth often feels like loss before it feels like expansion.
I remember that during my kundalini awakening, I decided to quit smoking. I had smoked two and a half packs a day for fifteen years, and I truly felt like I was going to die.
It felt like I had lost my closest companion—the thing I reached for in both joy and grief.
Then came divorce, becoming a single mother, and so many other changes at once.
I was no longer the version of myself I had always known.
Growth can hurt. It often asks you to let go of:
• Old versions of yourself
• Relationships that no longer align
• Comfort zones that once felt safe
But you are not losing yourself.
You are meeting yourself on a deeper level.
Moving Forward with Ease
Ease does not mean everything becomes perfect.
It means you stop creating unnecessary friction within yourself.
When you embrace the shift and trust the timing of your life, it becomes easier to respond rather than react.
You become more curious and less fearful about what is leaving and what is arriving.
You begin to see that this process is not happening to you—it is happening for you.
Hang In There
You do not need to understand everything right now.
There is no need to rush the process. It will unfold in its own time.
All you need to do is stay open and stop resisting.
Trust the flow.
Each day is moving you closer to who you truly are.
Are you going through a trauma event, spiritual awakening, or kundalini arousal and need guidance and support? Learn more about how I can assist you at www.groundededawakenings.com or reach out to me directly at lola@groundedawakenings.com.
Lola Scarborough, PhD
Awakening Navigator